Now I know why people close their eyes while kissing

Kissing in Africa is a foreign and adopted culture. So I wont hold anyone accountable for all the bad kissing that went down on the mass wedding at Rubaga Miracle Centre. Apparently, a prize of 100$ equivalent of Ugx 370,000 was set for the ten best kissing couples. Man oh man, this wasn’t a kissing competition, it was a battlefield. Some couples seemed to just be biting the lips of a spouse as if eating a sugarcane. One couple amused me, his tongue licked away all the lipstick of his bride as if he was scooping on ice cream.  It was entertaining beyond anything we have ever witnessed in the city of Kampala.

This got me thinking, is this why people close their eyes while kissing so that they don’t have to remember the alienic lips that could be approaching them…LOL?

She wants to give our marriage a five year break, should I let her?

Today I was invited to discuss a topic at Dembe Fm, a Nation Media Radio station. Bina Baibe, a famous presenter played a recording of a listener who has been staying in Pakistan for years, he has or he is married with four children. Six months ago, he had an argument with his wife who told him that she was tired of the whole marriage life, she asked him to give her a break. After a long argument, the husband gave in to her demands thinking it was a short period and maybe she was suffocated and really needed a break to set her mind straight.

L-R Christine Nakalungi and Bina Baibe. My Cinderella Story Photo

To his shock, the wife told him that she needs a break of five years. Whaaatttt? My eyes widened and my jaws dropped, “who even does that?” I asked.  Before I could step in with my wild views, Bina signaled me to keep on listening. “She gave me six months to come back home or she was going to take my children to a police station” The listener narrated. “At first, I thought it was a joke but did not want to risk so a few weeks to the end of the six months, I went to Uganda. I just boarded an airport taxi from the airport and on arrival at our home, she just looked at me with disgust, no welcome at all; I teased her but she wasn’t interested. I called out the children to get my stuff from the taxi but she told me the children were sent to their grandmother. I wasn’t amused at her decision but kept my cool. I had come back home to take care of my children and they were not even around!”

By this time, I had got my peace with the idea of a break but I knew something wasn’t right. The question is, should I give her this break and what will happen within these five years?

Reported by Christine Nakalungi

 

In the battle to impress him, I lost everything

Dear My Cinderella Editor, allow me share my story to all the young ladies out there, maybe it could be a lesson to one or two.

When you put out all your best cards and luck doesn’t seem to be on your side; if you don’t quit, you might end up regretting your efforts

I met this guy, he wasn’t so handsome but his personality attracted me to him, he was protective, supportive and sensitive. When I met him he acted interested and since I had liked him, I never made it hard for him; we went out a few times and enjoyed the steam in our early love story. It didn’t last for so long, we got into an argument, it was silly and could easily be avoided but our egos kept it moving. After silent treatment for a week, I accepted defeat and went to apologize. I never thought it was worth the break and besides I was missing him.

When we met again, he was like a stranger, I didn’t know where to begin, he made it so hard for me to even open my mouth to apologize, he never gave me even a minute of his time. I said it amidst fear but I was determined to get him back. He laughed at my apology and slammed the door in my face; I kept around for like a minute hoping he will sober up and open again…he never did, all I had was a loud soccer game in the house.

I could hear my inner ego scream out…”get over him, he is not worth” believe me; I was determined to walk away and never to look back. When I lay in my bed that night, my inner Goddess whispered to me…”you are a lady and you can make that man love you, you are beautiful, prove him wrong by making him fall for you. And when that happens, walk away and turn the tables in his face” I smiled at the idea and I laid out my strategies to impress this fella.

I studied his moves, and I knew how to get his attention, of course I succeeded because personally he was a guy who cared, I blackmailed him into even taking me to his bed, of course a man will gladly eat when he is served. Like a lamb, I sacrificed my values and dignity for this guy, I gave him my body and I was sure if he has fallen prey then am on top of the game. I didn’t like the experience, as a matter of fact, I could feel that I was stooping so low, I was giving out too much to a man I wasn’t even sure would look at me in the morning.

I was wrong, I was woken up with breakfast in bed; it felt nice, I had achieved my goal, I had won him over. He dropped me at work and kissed me goodbye. I was all smiles for a full day. My joy faded when I didn’t hear from him that day, I lay awake that night and just hoping he calls or texts or… he didn’t do any of those. This broke my heart but my goddess couldn’t let me give up that easily. I laid out another strategy.

He was in my grip again but this time he demanded for more, he demanded for what I had never thought would ever do, he demanded for live sex, whoaaa…I went in silence for a while. I shook my head and the reaction on his face scared me, he stood up to leave. I felt my heart ache, I felt torn. I wish I hadn’t felt like that, maybe I wouldn’t be here writing all this. But this time, I felt like I would never get him back, I called him back and served his desires. I was sure that after serving his demands, he will stay. It was all steamy even this day but it lasted after a week.

This time I felt helpless, I had gone beyond my game plan and the guy was still on top of the game, I gave up. I was ready to let him go and by so doing, I hooked up with some guy who was on my waiting list (every girl has that guy they really don’t like, but consider just in case they ever find themselves bored and lonely) After two weeks of my new romance, something happened; I got sick, I was extremely weak as a matter of fact I collapsed at my place of work. My new catch rushed me to his doctor and the news I got that day changed my entire life. “Congratulations, you are pregnant” My new catch slowly dropped my hand and gave me a shocking look; we had obliviously never had sex together. The shock on my face forced the doctor to leave the room and give us some privacy. I turned to face my then boyfriend and Gosh, his eyes had turned red. His face had hardened and I could tell he was holding tears, I tried to explain but all he did was push me away.

I had three days to rest, I tried to explain to him that that relationship was over before we started but he couldn’t listen. I hated my inner goddess for having pushed me to this dilemma, and still here I was; in this guy’s house again asking for forgiveness. I had hurt him, I could feel it, he had plans for our relationship and I had crushed every bit of it. I got on my knees and asked him not to hate me, “I understand you don’t want anything to do with me anymore, but please don’t hate me” I grabbed his leg as he walked away. As he pulled away, he kicked me in the chest; I fell on a center table and hit my head really bad. He didn’t look behind, he just continued for his room, I must have got dizzy and fell asleep on the floor. When I regained my conscious, he was there standing and looking at me. My head hurt so much, my chest hurt too; I was scared I had lost my pregnancy (much as at this point that’s what I wanted)

I left his house, went and sat on the stairs and waited for my friend to come pick me. I cried my eyes dry, this guy had chased me for like 6 months but he couldn’t even care when I was hurt. The doctor’s report wasn’t scaring, it was a simple blood clot and it got better. I was still pregnant and good to go. My friend stayed with me for two weeks until I was back on my feet. I had one pending issue to settle and this was confronting the would be baby dad. I wasn’t willing to do so but after a few lectures from my friend, I planned on doing so. He wasn’t picking up my calls and I wasn’t willing to go to his house. My lawyer brother tried contacting him and when he eventually had succeeded, they had an appointment to meet at a certain hotel, my brother forwarded me the address and I met with him at the place.

After an hour, my brother got impatient and called him, he directed him to a specific hall in that hotel, when we entered, it was a full house, four people seated on the high table, him in the middle, a lady besides him and other two guys. It was the launch of his wedding meetings. When he saw me, he stood up and went out. After a few minutes, a security guy came and dragged me out of the room. Everyone turned to witness this scandal, my brother rushed to stop the guy but he couldn’t succeed. I was thrown out of the room in humiliation. The photos and videos got on social media before I even left the hotel. My immediate boss called and advised me to first get a break, it was obvious, I was fired since with my kind of work, scandal is the last thing they could stand.

My brother sued the hotel but I couldn’t stand to be embarrassed for another time. I disappeared that night and with my savings, I was able to flee the country. I went through pregnancy with difficulty, financially, emotionally but after that I settled down. I cut all communication and settled somewhere new. I had a baby girl and so far she is my Cinderella story…she has given me hope, my trust for men was completely crushed. Do not go deep unless you are ready to get dirty. I wish I never pursued the wind. Much as I regret this, I learnt a lesson, no need to sacrifice with an aim of impressing.

Anonymous