I don’t need your approval, I love my wife

Love doesn’t ask why. On Friday, August 20, Guvnor Ace (Ronald Ssemawele) and his bride, Mona-Lisa Larsson, had more than their fair share of attention when pictures of their civil wedding hit social media. Interracial marriages are commonplace nowadays, but, there are some who still stigmatise the Black half of the couple, imagining they are into the marriage for money. In Ssemawele’s case, society was ‘scandalised’ by the bride’s age, with many saying Guvnor married the love of his life for money. Heart to heart’s Gillian Nantume(Daily Monitor) caught up with the lovebirds at their rented cottages in Lubowa as they enjoyed a cold beer.

His story >

Congratulations on your wedding
Thank you. (He wears his sunglasses and forbids us from taking pictures until he has got the gist of the interview. He is wary that we might ask deeply-intimate questions).

There is talk that you are a musician. What group do you perform with?
Leone Island Music Empire, which I joined in 2011. I attended Kawombe Memorial School with AK47 and I loved his brother’s (Jose Chameleone) music. When I failed to get tuition in my first year at St Lawrence University, I joined the Empire.

When is your next show?
In Uganda we have concerts, not shows. I sing at any of them as long as I am paid. I have not yet launched my album, but there is a concert being planned for Pallaso and Gravity (both local musicians) and I hope to perform there.
However, my own shows will be in Europe, after Christmas.

People are curious about what kind of man you are.
I am a simple man who respects people. I am also hardworking, even if people say bad things about me. I just turn a deaf ear knowing that they will eventually shut up.

Surely, you cannot ignore the media hype about your marriage!
I am not the first to love an older woman. People do it all the time. It is just that I am an artiste and people always want to know what we are doing. Maybe the attraction comes from there.
People who love older women hide it. But I am not ashamed of what I am doing. In fact, I like it. We have been together for one year and eight months so there is nothing the media can say that will separate us.

How old are you, both?
I am 25. My wife does not want to talk about her age because of the media. All we can say is she is above 50 but below 75 years.

Of course, most people think you married Mona-Lisa for her money.
When we met, I had my own money. I was living well. True, she has her money but I love her for who she is. But we help each other financially, just like other couples do.

How did you meet?
I shared a video of my song, Gutujja on Facebook and Mona-Lisa’s friend, HIpipo Marie Jose, shared it on her page. My wife liked it and commented, although she did not understand the language.
There were two comments on the video and hers was the first. HIpipo told me that I had a new fan, so I went to the comments section and sent her a friend request, which she accepted.
You see, you first love your friends before you can have an affair with them. You cannot love your enemies.
Mona-Lisa became my friend and we chatted for 11 months. In December 2014, she flew in to visit me. Our love grew after our first meeting and we started connecting.

What attracted you to her?
She understands me. She can look at me and know when I am pissed off. And she accepted me the way I am.

The decision to marry never comes easily for men. Did you agonise over it?
When she returned in April to spend Easter with me, I developed more interest in her. I proposed to her and she accepted before returning to Sweden.

How did you propose? Did you go down on one knee?
There are many ways of proposing to a woman. Just know that I proposed, although I did not kneel down.

What was your family’s reaction to your choice of a wife?
(A slight frown mars his previously cool demeanor. There is irritation in his voice). I am glad you have asked this question, instead of writing about things you do not know, like other newspapers.
Let me make it clear that my wife is a human being. She is not from another planet. She has red blood just like you. Being old does not mean that she cannot be loved.
I did not commit a crime by loving her. There was no need to seek my family’s approval before marrying her.

The social life of a musician is quite a cross. Your Swedish wife knows nothing about this kind of life. Won’t it break her?
Before we got married, she was aware that I am a musician. She knows I have to perform at concerts and I have to travel. My boss, Jose Chameleone, has been married for a long time, yet he travels a lot and leaves his wife at home.
As long as Mona-Lisa trusts me and knows that when I travel I will always come back to her, we will be fine. Couples need to trust each other. To love a musician, you have to be strong.
Because I am a celebrity, people will want to pose for pictures with me everywhere I go. It is easy for her to be jealous but the good thing is that she knows I love her very much.

Her story 

 

Mona-Lisa is a teacher in Stockholm, Sweden. She has been married before and has children. Since English is not her first language, we kept her interview short.
Your friend shared a music video with you, you commented on it, yet you knew nothing about Ugandan music.
Actually Jose Chameleone and Papa Cidy (both local musicians) had performed in Holland some time back so my friend was able to explain to me who Leone Island was. So I got to know about their music and I loved it.

So you just flew in, without knowing anyone here. It must have been unnerving for you.
I am not new to Africa, although it was my first time in Uganda.
However, I have a friend who has lived here before and she assured me that it was a good country and the people were friendly.

Were your people happy when you told them you were getting married again?
I do what I want to do, anytime. I did not need permission or support from anyone to get married. I know that people talk a lot but I am a strong woman. I do not take whatever they say to heart.

What do you think strengthens love in a marriage?
Communication is necessary. A couple has to understand each other. A woman has to have her own life so that she does not pester her husband for attention. My husband is a musician and artistes need freedom to work.

What do you do in your other life?
I love travelling, painting and drama.

Where do your children live?
They live in Sweden.

Has your husband met them?
No. But in December, we are planning to go to Sweden.
What is it that you found attractive about Ronald?
He is deep. He can talk about important things, not just about clothes and shoes. And I love the way he takes care of me. Some men forget their wives but he is not like that.

This is only your fourth day in marriage – in a different culture. Things might be different from your first experience.
Yes, we have been together three times, but for very short periods. Now that we are married, we will get to know each other well. I will learn his culture, then we will fly to Sweden and he can learn my culture.

How do you resolve conflicts in your relationship?
We communicate. Fights come when there is a misunderstanding. When you know you are in the wrong, say sorry and promise not to do it again. Also, people should learn to listen when their partners are communicating to them.

What makes you happy?
Happiness is relative. It is the small things that really get me. We eat together. We talk together. When my husband is happy, I am happy.

Where do you plan to make your home?
Both here and in Sweden. His music is known here so we have to spend time in Uganda. We also would like to help orphans with the basic necessities. I love working with children and I hope to get an opportunity to do so.

What is your husband’s favourite food?
I have not yet learnt a lot about Ugandan food, but he likes fish and meat.

Your last words?
The video of our wedding has been allover the Internet. People are interested in it in Kenya, Tanzania and even Switzerland. That is something big.

Source: Heart to Heart Magazine (Daily Monitor)

We dated for two years, I didn’t know he was married

 

I met a guy in my second year at campus, he was the kind you would call a perfect boyfriend. We enjoyed life, I introduced him to my friends, family and he did the same just that the family he introduced me to wasn’t complete.

One day we had a fight over what? Not even so important now, anyway he wanted to get us an apartment and we move in together, I told him my parents will not like the idea, I suggested he lets me finish my studies and then I can do that, he turned down my suggestion and we never talked for a week. One day I met his friend and somehow he was also pissed with him. Apparently, my perfect guy wasn’t that perfect after all, he had stabbed his best friend in the back, they had a business proposal together but he had presented it alone to the investors and he didn’t involve his friend. The friend had found out and was so pissed because on the contract, his name hadn’t appeared.

I defended my man in the eyes of his best friend which forced him to prove me wrong, what he told me that evening blew my mind. Unlike girls, men stand by their friends and I was surprised to listen to this guy ‘undressing’ his ‘best friend’. I kept defending him and wishing I was doing the right thing; that this guy was just pissed with him. After arguing with him, he said something to make me shut up.

“Your Steve is married ….” He shouted

“Wow, has it come to this, I thought you guys were friends” I told him. At this point I was tired of all the trash he was saying, I picked up my bag to leave. He held my hand and apologized,

 “This must be too much for you right now, I wouldn’t have said so and am so sorry for lying to you all this long” Are you kidding me, the guy sounded so sure and this is when I woke up. It was late so he offered to drop me at the hostel. Silence filled the ride, a lot was going on through my mind, but the marriage bit had hit me hard. He must have realized what he had done; he had crushed me. When he stopped, I opened the door fast and headed for the gate; he grabbed my hand and gave me a business card. “That’s the wife’s contact, if you think I am lying” I pulled away from him, looked in his eyes and I could tell he was so serious about whatever he was saying.

I locked myself in the room, cried my eyes red. My roommate knocked and I jumped out of my bed, oh no, she can’t see me crying; I tried disguising my swollen eyes for sleep and went to open the door. “Hey sleepy head are you ok?” I looked at her and broke down, she held me and we lay there for like 10 minutes. “Ok baby girl, what’s the issue? Is it about Steve*?” I nodded hoping she will stop, when she insisted for the reason, I gave her the business card.

 “What, are you pregnant?”

“No…what?” I grabbed the card from her

I told my roommate about the evening and the story; she suggested we visit the lady first thing in the morning. By 8:00am we had reached the hospital, my friend registered  as a patient and she went in, her being a mass communication student, she carried on her research and yes it was true, the woman  had three children with ‘my’ Steve. She came out, grabbed my hand and pulled me out, she told me the outcome. I froze for a minute, for two years I was fooled, I was blinded by love and even never cared to dig deeper.

 

After composing myself, I called the woman and our conversation blew my mind

“Hullo” I started

“Hullo, who is this” She responded

“Am sorry to bother you, my name is Tracy*(not real name)…”

“Yes Tracy how can I help you?

My heart beat faster and I chocked on words, “Honestly I don’t know why I have called but…am sorry…”

“Tracy, there is no reason to be sorry, I saw you today at the hospital”

“What?????” Now I started panicking but since the phone was on loud speaker my friend signaled me to continue talking but we were all in shock

“I have known about you for 8 months now, you are dating my husband?

“Madam, am sorry, I didn’t know he was married…I could never break a family…”

“Huh, I figured when I first met you at his office”

“What??? Oh My God” at this point we were all freaking out

“You are not the first victim, I have met others but you sounded so naïve, and today at the hospital, you looked pale I actually thought you were pregnant.”

“No no no, am not pregnant,” I trembled in defense

“Tracy, next time try to find out before you initiate a relationship, my husband is a mess but he is the father of my children and he will never leave me for you or anyone”

This felt better, I was expecting her to be a b***h, mean and she had all the rights to. When she started abusing me, my friend switched off the phone and she texted her, “Madam am sorry and I will not tamper with your husband anymore”

Steve showed up at my door the following evening, I had switched off my phone in fear that his wife will call back. He obliviously denied everything and told me, “If you have another boyfriend, don’t set up accusations just to break up with me.” I looked at the guy in total shock and slammed the door in his face, he bang the door for some time until the security guy came and threw him out.

I wouldn’t call that my Cinderella story but it is my experience with a married man, Steve got another girl in year 2, same course and same hostel as I am in. Sometimes I miss him but I was never raised to break a home. I honestly don’t think I can tell this girl all about the guy because then I will sound jealousy. Am praying she finds out earlier than I did.

To all my girls, a married man can never leave his wife for you. His wife spared my life, she would have done anything to make me pay; burnt me with acid, sent me thugs or bewitched me but she was a good one, I must credit her for that. You might not be this lucky; love yourself so much to walk away in dignity. Everyone has a destiny; taking over someone else’s doesn’t give satisfaction. At the end of the day, he will choose his, wife and children. Cheers to all the ‘My Cinderella family’

Damn! The pressure that comes with love

 

 

I have nothing new to write about love apart from the fact that it sucks! Sucks so bad because it burges into your perfectly organised life of no commitments, no sacrifices, just you and yourself, no bathing or shaving and so many other unspeakable liberties and takes over. Suddenly, this man is telling you he does not like it when you wear trousers because his are the only trousers that the house should have and that he does not like your weave because it betrays our African heritage and besides he hates running his hands through goat hair.

There you are perched in six-inch heels all the time because you are so in love and the one you love does not think women should wear flat shoes, not even when you are going to the market. So you do it not because you agree but because you love him and love is about sacrifice, right?
Never mind that the person giving these decrees on what to wear and what not to wear does not give you a penny to buy what he feels is appropriate. So you deplete your savings trying to please him all in the name of love.

Remember those mornings when you used to wake up to a bar of chocolate and cereal for breakfast, now you have to be up by 4am to boil beans, cassava, yams and pig offals on the side because well, that is what your boo wants for breakfast, which must be served at 7am!
When you are out with company, he prefers that you keep your mouth shut, not say anything lest one of his friends sees your perfectly-shaped canines and steals you away from him. And since you are so in love, you oblige him and go the extra mile by keeping your eyes on the floor and desist from smiling because he insists the dimples that adorn your face when you do are for only his eyes.
He forces you to eat eight full meals of posho, beans and pumpkin plus five litres of porridge a day because he loves his women bulky as it will reflect well on him. How else will his malwa-mates know that he is doing well if not by looking at his woman’s weight!
The senga told you to do anything to please your man so when he suggests that you buy a pair of synthetic bums and heavily padded bras to improve your not-so-endowed body, you run as fast as you can to the mall to get new body parts.
When you ever so lovingly show him the recent study presented to a psychology convention in Toronto that couples who send each other sexually-suggestive messages by phone, commonly known as “sexting,” have better sex, he calls you a whore, lays hands on you to exorcise the spirit of lasciviousness and recommends a dry fast for two weeks for God’s forgiveness.
And because you are in love, you ignore the fact that he is always smiling mischievously at the endless phone messages with photos of strange naked women that he receives late at night.
Love is a drug much like heroine, how else would you explain why she quit her job at the law firm to be a housewife, yet they have no children who she might say she gave up her job for to be a stay-home mother?
Not to mention that he hardly earns enough to keep the family going. But because he does not approve of women going to work, she stays home to watch Telemundo all day. Hmmm, if this is love, then it sucks.

Source: Heart to heart’s columnist Janet Napio, Daily Monitor

 

HIS MOTHER BROKE UP WITH ME

 

 

I met Peter * in a church circle, we both belonged to different tribes but that never got in our way, we were both Christians, educated and with good careers, we did a lot of things together and we had future plans together.

After a full year of this scorching love, we decided to visit our families and seek their blessing for our future. The past six months we had opened up communication with both families, at least with siblings and cousins. It felt like family already, I liked his family and he liked mine too.

December 2013 was our set period to meet our families, we visited my family first. Peter* was warmly received by my mother and my siblings who had come home for the Christmas holiday. His visit seemed easy since he had met my siblings, he  joined my brothers in watching a soccer game, they were betting the entire match and screaming at the top of their voices; me on the other hand was being a girl in a home and helping out with meals and stuff-like that. Silence was restored in the house when my father arrived home, boys rushed to open and close the gate, Peter* was left alone in the living room, his heart beat faster and he panicked. My phone buzz and it was an SMS from him…“I am officially scared, where are you…you should come to my rescue before your dad kicks my butt hahah” I laughed but went to check on him, he was seated in a couch but one could think he is seated on nails or the hardest chair ever on planet earth.

My dad was just entering the house when I came in; as ever, he gently pressed his briefcase on the floor, opened his arms wide and invited me for a hug, it was always the same. I am a dad’s girl; this explains why Peter* was scared of tampering with him. It was a minute hug, he kept whispering in my ear; asking me about work, life and the last question made me burst in laughter, “Are you sure I am not going to kill that friend of yours?” He asked, I laughed at his joke and he let me go, holding my hand he extended a handshake to Peter, “Young man, you are welcome?” Peter jumped on his feet, he boldly extended his hand, “Thank you sir” he moved to his swaying chair, I sat next to him and when the conversation turned into a boys thing, my brothers and Peter* plus the old man seemed to have a lot to talk about, I excused myself and joined the girls in the kitchen.

The evening was heartwarming and Peter already behaved like he was part of the family, he spent a night in a guest room and I was ordered to sleep in my room ( you could guess why). We chatted for like 30 minutes before my little sister complained of my phone light disturbing her sleep. Saturday was fun, all the boys (siblings, Peter*and the old man) went to visit the farm. I must admit, I couldn’t wait for them to return; I kept wondering what they are asking him, what he is doing and all sorts; I however outgrew the feeling after receiving a text from him, “Good morning my love…out having a blast with the cows LOL” At around 11:00am they came back and anyone could tell my dad liked Peter*, I felt so happy and the day just got more interesting, we ate, had a few games and before we left we had a group/family photo from a photographer who mom had called home. Two of my brothers traveled back with us and others were forced to stay home till Christmas.

We spent the Sunday shopping for Christmas, went back home at around 2 and watched movies till late. We were supposed to travel early Monday for Peter’s village; unfortunately or fortunately he was called at work for an entire day, we couldn’t travel at night so we opted for early morning Tuesday, I packed all the longest dresses I could put my hands to, sweaters and jackets, I wore little make-up and neatly held my hair. I could now tell why Peter* was nervous when he visited my home. I dropped the heels and went for the simplest pumps I could afford, I really tried to tone myself down and impress my future mother – in- law. Before we drove off, I rushed back in the house to pick a wrapper and a big shawl. Am sure Peter* noticed and he held my hand as he drove off, I was shaking but I stabilized after a few minutes. The journey did not seem so long as anticipated. We branched off the main road and drove on a bumpy narrow road, tree branches kept distracting our way but the driver seemed to be a pro on this road. After like 20 minutes, we turned and Peter* parked in the yard.

A lady in her late 40s came out screaming, she was darker than Peter* a few wrinkles, spread grey hair but her beauty wasn’t something you could miss, she wrapped a blue shawl around her waist. I closed my eyes and said a little prayer, Peter held my hand for a second, smiled and said, “Welcome home” He jumped out of the car and gave his mother a big hug, I gathered myself emotionally and came out of the car, I walked in the direction of the lady as Peter introduced us, “Mom meet Priscilla*” She looked at me for a micro second and looked back at his son, “Oh, son how is life, how is work…” I stopped paying attention and looked, I could feel Peter*is eyes on me. My mind was flooded with thoughts; I imagined the worst but kept the debate to myself. I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me, I felt small, and all the walls of my esteem crumbled on me, tears started forming in my eyes.

I sulked my tears when a hand tapped me, It was Peter* “come on Priscilla, let’s get the stuff” I opened to get the stuff and oh to my relief, a savior appeared from the house, “Hey P” he shouted, “Guess who is here? Priscilla you are welcome?” He gave me a hug, carried the things and led the way to the house, his conversation calmed me down a little but I couldn’t stop thinking of the humiliation I had got. John was Peter’s little brother, we had met a few times and we liked each other, he showed me around the living room, the photos and offered me a seat. As soon as he rushed to get me a drink, I heard whispers, they didn’t sound friendly at all; my stomach boiled up and I opened my ears wider.

“Who is she, son you can never marry from that tribe; over my dead body” His mother said

“Mom she is not from that tribe, she comes from a different tribe, I know her, and I have met her family’ I am so sure” Peter* replied

“Are you taking me for a fool, do I look stupid to you?”

“No mom, I didn’t say that”

“Then if love made you blind, I will open your eyes by force, she is too light to be coming from the tribe you are claiming she is from, have you paid attention to her nose? I am not a fool”

“But mom, you haven’t even looked at her or spent a little time with her, when did you do your little analysis?”

“Little analysis you said? So you feel  grown, are you under-looking me now? Should I say now you are the Sir in the house?

“Mom, not today; we came to see you and spend quality time with you; you either get over that or …”

“…or what?” his mother interrupted, “Say it, or what? Its fine take your figureless skinny ghost away from my house?

“Mom, what did you call her?

At this moment, tears were just rolling down my eyes, my instincts were right, this woman didn’t like me and she had no chances of ever liking me, I could smell hatred in every word, John tapped me and held me, “she doesn’t mean it, she acts like that most times…she will settle down” he said.

A door was slammed and I thought the worst, Peter pulled me from John and walked out in anger that I had to just run after him, he opened my door, I sat and he slammed the door. Now all this seemed like a nightmare, I wished it was; I had never seen him this angry, his eyes were hot red, his body was hot, I could tell from the grip. John rushed to the old woman, held her hands to keep her from throwing stones at us, Peter drove off and you could still hear her voice quarreling. The locals had started coming out to see what was going on and we almost knocked one. I put on my seat belt and kept praying nothing happens to us.

“Peter let me drive” I requested, he was too angry that I was scared for our lives, he did not turn to look at me, he drove even faster that I had to shout at him “STOP” he stepped the breaks suddenly that we almost hit our heads on the dash board. I held him tightly, he sobbed like a baby and for like 10 minutes we sat quietly in the car. I didn’t know what to say, I moved to the driver’s seat, he shifted and I drove to the first hotel I saw. I went out, booked a room; got our suitcases and took them upstairs. I came back to pick my depressed boyfriend, at least for now he was still though I couldn’t predict the future. He slept the entire afternoon, refused to eat or do anything.

Peter* loves his mother so much, she raised them single handedly; they had never been in such a fight all their lives and I was beating myself for having stepped in between the two. I sat at a balcony, in just less than a day, my dreams and plans had all washed away, I regretted having met him, having decided to visit his family, having introduced him to my family, and worse off having fallen in love with him. It was so hard for me to contain. John called me but I even didn’t know what to tell him. I cried till my eyes dried up.

Peter refused to wake up even in the evening, he was crushed but I was crushed too; we were supposed to lean on each other and not cry individually. I was losing my man in just less than a day. He had developed a temperature, I forced him out of bed, he went to shower, I called my cousin who is a doctor, she advised me on the medication, most places were closed since it was Christmas Eve but I managed to get him a few painkillers. He ate something and for the entire evening and Christmas day he was just like that.

We checked out on 26^th December and drove back to the city. I was scared of leaving him at his place alone but I also needed people around to cheer me up. I told my mother a week later and she gave me the advice that up to today I refer  to as sour, “Never go where you are not celebrated” Peter* loved and celebrated me but that was his family. His uncle visited, they called me and we talked through. I was advised to fight so hard to win over his mother’s heart or I let him go. Peter* begged me to try harder to win over her mother. I promised to do so but after too much, travelling, apologizing and taking my uncle there to confirm my tribe (I couldn’t get myself to talk to my dad) all was in vain. The final whistle was blown when Peter*is mother brought a woman to Peter’s home and told him, “…this will be your wife”  She officially threw me out and broke up with me. Peter* just stared at both of us and switched on the TV. Its then that I gave up, I deserved more.

Woman Texting

Peter got married this year in January to a tribemate. Am scared to love again, I have a wonderful man but am even scared of introducing him to my friends. He proposed last week, I said yes but my heart is still scared. I was advised by a friend to speak to a counsellor and one of the things I learnt is sharing. This is my first time to share this story. My Cinderella story was crushed by his mother. With my counselling sessions, am sure I will be able to move on and allow a new and more exciting #cinderellastory till then.

 

 

 

 

SHE STOLE MY EGO

 

My name is Andrew, and I’m 32 years old. I am married to a wonderful lady, Abigail* and we have three children between age 8 and 4. My family has always been a happy one and so, I never thought a day would come that I would have to do what I am doing right now, but I gotta do it anyway!

In the life of a young boy growing up with an egotistical father and uncles, there is a period of shaping and breaking. When I was little and coming up, I had so many men in my family to look up to. Most of the lessons I learnt from them were the very things that a normal man has to do in the day to day living. Although 70% of what I learnt has taken me to greater heights, some of these have actually caused weird and irreversible mistakes.

Any man out there must have heard something like ” a man’s gotta do what a man has to do”! To be a man, you are the head of your household, you provide for your family, you hustle and grind no matter the conditions, you fight for and protect your family. You have to be excellent so that you do not keep your wife wanting, just to mention a few. Many people say that all men are born with an ego and it is something that can not be done away without, it is who we are. However I think the male ego also requires self control or else it can cost you what has taken you a long time to build. This is how I got to learn my ego lesson.

When I was walking out of my last exam during my high school finals, I started making plans for how I wanted my future to be. While most of my peers were planning parties and anticipating their drinking sprees as they had already come of age, and all excited about finally becoming of legal age to do certain things, I was focused on the bigger picture. I did not want to “feel the weight of the world, but rather have the world feel my weight”! I planned to be the best entreprenuer, the best father but most importantly, the best husband since my father always said that a happy wife means a happy family which also means I get a happy life.

When I got into college, I studied Urban Planning and out of college, I used some of my intellect to look for jobs especially Real estate firms. I loved my work and it exposed me to the rich and famous. The more clients I was able to close deals with on behalf of my company, meant the more money I got paid. Soon enough, I was able to propose to my long time high school girlfriend Abigail*.

After two months, we got married. It was a very private ceremony at the beach and we did not use the traditional vows, we each wrote vows speaking from the heart. I insisted that we write out own vows because I believed it would make more sense to us as they would be a believable and constant reminder of our promises to one another. My father told me that marriage isn’t a smooth ride but I was willing to take that leap of faith anyway. The first eight years of our marriage were so beautiful with unforgettable memories and milestones which included the birth of our three children. My job was doing well, but I still was craving more success. I needed more wealth.

One day, we had a small office celebration, which I attended with my wife. I got to meet many influential people who were big names in the real estate world and through this I was able to get connections even with dons and tycoons. I made friendships and got more deals, my phone was always buzzing off the hook. However, one day something unexpected happened. I was introduced to a new client Tania who had just been widowed. Her tycoon husband was killed on the job and left behind several investments, most of which were in real estate. She really had good business and introduced me to other clients. Within a short time, my commission had increased by 30%. You may be wondering why I said the increase was in my commission and not the salary…well. The company charges were always out standing but the clients and I always had our mutual understanding. Tania introduced me to a whole different way to make this extra money. She promised to bring me business on condition that I give her private services in the bedroom, if you know what I’m saying. I turned it down for over six months and suddenly everything died down. Everyone at work was bringing in clients but me. My salary was reduced and the boss threatened to lay me off. I gave it a lot of thought and decided to take her up on her offer.

Just like any other habit, cheating is addictive; it is a drug in its own way. Overcoming it may actually require rehab! At the start, I thought of it as a challenge. I would then pass it off as something I have to do for the sake of my family. I found all possible ways of sugar coating it to kill the bitter truth but fact is I was actually enjoying it. What started as a business proposal blossomed into a steamy affair and it did not only happen between Tania and I, but also involved her peers. It brought me so much money and satisfaction, I was balling out of control. It was a painless way of earning an extra dime. What’s done in the dark, comes to the light…at least they say! My affair lasted a while, and it was nice while it did, however, the ending is still a puzzle to me.

 

 

One day, I woke up to the same routine. Took the kids to school by 6:00am, parked my car in the basement parking lot of the apartment block towering my home and waited for next appointment who was an older business buddy of Tania. She came down and together, we waited in my car for 8:00am top of the hour because my wife always left the house by 7:30am. The thirty minutes extra was just grace period not to bump into her. Lucky for me she was out by the time we got there. We got down to bedroom business and in no time, we were knocked out. I can say we made quite a mess. Little did I know my wife had left her smartphone and name tag on her dresser, and they were right there all this while! I woke up sometime later and started looking around for my watch and was taken by surprise at what I saw. There was no mess in the bedroom! Matter of fact, everything was neatly tucked away, “my client’s” clothes were carefully folded and placed next to mine, including under garments. At first I thought I had brought a freak home and that maybe, just maybe, she had woken up, cleaned the place up and gone back to sleep. My mind was racing.

Just as I was about to go with that, I noticed my watch was placed on the bedside desk, on my wife’s side of the bed, and there was a piece of paper clearly plucked from my wife’s diary! You know how the pages have the dates written on them? Well she plucked out exactly that page for that fateful day. The note read…” Hey Honey’ I’m so sorry I came back unexpectedly, I forgot my phone and name tag on the dresser and had to come back, you know I needed the name tag for the conference;I found you two sleeping so soundly and didn’t wanna wake you up. Clearly both of you were dead beat and too tired to clean up so I did it for you. You have a change of clothes and I left the heater on for you so you can freshen up. Just in case you get hungry, I have made two plates ready and all you have to do is micro wave the food. There is also some fresh juice which I had bought for your children but you and your guest might get thirsty. Feel free to drink it ’cause…they are kids, they will survive. I also took some pictures of you two! I know that this is something you may want to remember for the rest of your life and maybe a legacy for your children. It is a story you will only be able to tell your grand children with imagery. Okay, I’m running late now and have to get back to work. I will pick the kids from school, and will understand if you have to work late tonight.
Abigail”

Now, by the time I got to the end of this note, I was sweating like a fish! I was dripping with beads of sweat. I was even afraid of the woman lying down next to me and so I sat on the edge of the bed and slowly tapped her foot. I must have looked so scary that she jolted up and hit her head on the head board. I asked her to relax and slowly handed her the note. She read it and did not wait to dress up. She simply grabbed her clothes and dashed out. She went out screaming…”we are dead s**t s**t”! With that, I confirmed my worst fears. This was no prank, my wife actually wrote it. I started scrutinizing her “E” and “Y” through out the note, it was really her. Later that day I heard her drive back in. I had spent the rest of the day composing a suitable explanation and had finally got the most tolerable and not so damaging one. I waited for her at the main entrance and the kids came rushing in first. They almost knocked me down with hugs and giggles and then went off to get into their regular clothes. My wife walked in with groceries and as usual gave me my five seconds kiss then walked off. I think I was expecting a slap or confrontation or something but was denied.

She totally took away all my power to speak. I followed her around to explain but she just kept smiling back at me and asked me what I wanted for dinner, if I was expecting any more guests, if I need food stored for the following day, if I emptied the trash can and all these other weird questions. I’m afraid to eat or drink anything, I can’t sleep, I’m afraid of the dark, I’m sacred of sharp objects, I sneak into my son,s bed at night because I’m afraid of my own. I wish she could just let me explain. She has my ego. I’m reduced to nothing because she took it from me. I have tried to move on and ignore the whole situation and convinced myself that this is just a passing storm, but have failed. It is five days now and everyday, she puts a new picture on the bedroom ceiling. She brings food and juice in twos to the bedroom while she dines with the kids. I messed so bad and afraid that things will never go back to how we used to be. She now wears the pants. I’m empty and lost. Am not ready to end #mycinderellastory yet. How do I get back to me…to us?

BEHIND THE FLOWERS LAY A SWORD

 

 

 

An open letter to the beautiful women: No matter what he does to apologize: flowers, romantic dinner, trips or vacations, gifts… If he does it more than once he is not worth your forgiveness. Well, since you love him so much; the best you can do is admit that he doesn’t love you enough to stop hurting you. Be true to yourself and walk away. Love does not hurt….Lets say no to domestic violence. May this poem be an eye opener to all the beautiful ladies who have endured more than what their bodies could contain. Walk away before its too late. #mycinderellastory

She’s got flowers!
It wasn’t her birthday or any other special day.
They had their first fight, and he said many cruel things that really hurt her.
She knows that he is sorry and that he would not say those things again, because he sent her flowers.

She received flowers again!
It was not for their anniversary or any other special day.
Last night, he pushed her against a wall and started to choke her.
It seemed like a nightmare, she couldn’t believe it was real.
When she woke the next morning her body was painful and bruised.
She knows that he must be sorry, because he sent her flowers to forgive.

She received flowers yet again!
And this was not mother’s day or any other special day.
Once again, he has beaten her, it was much more violent than other times.
If she leaves, what would she do?
How would she care for her children?
And financial problems?
She is afraid of him, but is scared to go.
And she knows that he must be sorry because, as usual, he sent her flowers to apologize.

Today, was a very special day!
She has received piles of bouquets of flowers from all those who knew her and who loved her!
It was her funeral.
Last night, he finally killed her. He beat her to death.
If only She had found enough courage to leave,
She would have not received so many flowers today!

Sometimes even the Cinderella story can go wrong…realize the thorns early and act fast.

Share if you’re against Domestic Violence.
Enough is enough!

SOURCE: INTERNET

THE BLACKMAIL THAT SAVED MY MARRIAGE

 

I already see someone frowning and judging me; maybe I was wrong but at least I was wise enough to save the only thing that mattered that time, MY MARRIAGE.

3months ago, I stopped trying and decided to give-up on my wifely duties. I always rushed home after work to go make my family dinner, help my lovely daughter with her homework, shower, and feed her and also sing her to bed. The latter is a motherly duty which I can never give up but the wifely duty is me giving up my evenings preparing for a man who had now become a workaholic, he could work late and actually carried his office back home. Juice could be in a fridge for days and the only thing he could take at home was coffee, claiming it helped him keep awake.

I conformed for a day, weeks and now it had turned into months, I could feel we were growing apart, I didn’t know what was going on in his life and he didn’t know anything from my side either. Our daughter Jolly* was wondering what time dad comes home, whether he was on trip. I ran out of excuses for him but I never wanted to hurt my daughter.

This went on for two months and truthfully we had become more of roommates than a couple, all the things married people enjoy were now absent. He was drifting away I could feel it in my heart, I was losing him and Jolly was losing his dad. Slowly by slowly I lost all the morale of impressing, after all my efforts were not recognized or even appreciated. One day I decided to pick my daughter from school, went to my brother at his hotel (he was the manager). He was pleased to see Jolly, they had a lovely uncle-niece time, did homework together, took her to a Jacuzzi, she ate till all her energy was drowned and she was taken to her uncle’s suites. We chatted about family issues.

My brother started with his normal rants about me giving up on my course, I explained why; I was now a married, working mom; I had no time for classes.  We had a lot to talk about and time just went by. Our two cousins joined us and it was an evening I was missing, it felt like I had no worry at all, laughed out loud and when all was done, I remembered my motherly duties (I had no more wifely duties.) Since the hotel and my home were close by, my cousins offered to carry the sleepy Jolly and escort me home. After making sure I had entered the gate they drove off, I parked and went out to open the door…dropped my bags in the house and rushed out to carry my daughter, I passed by him at a dining table and I realized the shock on his face. Wait a minute; did he just put his work on hold and pay attention to the two of us? I ignored him and took my girl in bed, I stayed for a few minutes making sure she is really asleep, arranging her school stuff and thinking of what “that” look was about. Huh, hoping we don’t fight over it. I left Jolly’s room, went to close the door, said hello and headed for the bedroom (that had become the order of our nights…give him space to do his things)

I hoped he asked me about it, at least to show concern but he never even showed interest. After my shower, I bump into the room only to find him in bed. “Are you ok?” I asked. He never looked at me, huh…Ok I also minded my next move which is to sleep. But I kept wondering; why isn’t he working late today? Was he mad at me? I could tell he wasn’t asleep either; he kept turning and pulling the beddings.

I was tired of the tension in the bed that I went to check on my daughter, I always did so but this time I felt like she was the only person I could hold and feel at peace. I fell asleep in her bed. Waking up at 6:00am to get her ready, I realized I had actually had a good sleep. I had missed this for God knows how long. We did our girl’s morning schedule and headed for breakfast. Coming out, she runs to her dad, he was so early today (a lot is out of his schedule) anyway I thought since he didn’t work late last evening, he woke up early to finish up. I said hello and headed to make Jolly’s cereals. I drove her to school and came back to get ready for my day.

I never found him at home which was another rare thing but anyway, I continued with my day. My evening meeting ran late, I sent him a message to help me pick her from school, he replied after 30minutes and said he wasn’t in a good position to do so. I panicked but asked my brother to help me; he was a registered relative so it was easy. Arriving at his hotel at 8:45 pm, my brother tells me Jolly had gone with her cousins for shopping. It was fine since it was a Friday and there was no need for the early bed act. I sent my husband a message that we might come in late but he never replied. The kids came back at around 10 with my sister-in-law. Clothes all stained with chocolate and cream. They were all dragged to the shower and after a few minutes we were on our way back home.

My husband was already home but he just looked at us, Jolly was still awake but his dad wasn’t so interested in her stories, this broke my heart when he told her…”Jolly go to mom, dad has to work” She was still telling her about her shopping fun day and he wasn’t even patient to listen till the end. I looked at him and my heart split, I could feel the hurt as she looked at him hoping he changes his statement, he never looked back but instead put her down and continued with his work.

I could tell my daughter was sad, I tried reading her a book but all in vain, she finally fell asleep trying to watch cartoons. That night I chose to confront him, it was fine to treat me that way because am mature I can understand but not his own daughter, she was too young and the only thing she needed was her dad. I sat down and thought, I decided to give this man one more chance, but he had to prove himself worth the two of us. What I came out with will sound selfish to many but it took that to breakdown a man’s ego.

I had applied for my annual leave hoping to stay home with my daughter during her holiday though I planned something else. I left my husband a note and a DVD with his secretary ( I couldn’t risk leaving it at home since he could barely pay attention to anything) the note read…”BY THE TIME YOU ARE READING THIS, WE WILL BE ON OUR WAY TO A CERTAIN PLACE, I HAVE LEFT YOU A DVD TO WATCH AND MAY BE YOU WILL KNOW WHAT TO DO EXACTLY, IF YOU CANT FIGURE IT OUT THEN I GUESS YOU NOLONGER QUALIFY FOR A HUSBAND AND A FATHER…AM SORRY, WE WILL BE WAITING FOR YOU; UNTIL THEN… YOUR GIRLS MARTHA* AND JOLLY”

I blocked all my contacts, emails and anything he could use to trace me. It was a personal fight so I never shared it with anyone including my only brother. After three days my heart grew weary, I started panicking, I had put everything on a line, my marriage, my family…I started blaming myself for my selfish ambitions, I wouldn’t have involved my daughter in all this. Jolly was enjoying all that this holiday could bring to her plate; at least I had paid someone to teach her swimming so she never paid too much attention to me. It was a devastating moment, I kept praying but surely I didn’t know what to even ask God for. I wasn’t ready to live in an unhappy marriage, my daughter deserved more; I deserved more. But if it all meant that I lose this guy to find the real strong me; then I was willing to risk it.

My mom called me after three days and asked me about the progress…”Mom I am scared” I told her. “My daughter …Jolly deserves love…I love Paul* toobut if I have to lose him…let it be, I love you and Jolly more even if it means spending the rest of my life loving just you; I will do so, I want to die knowing you are in good hands” This relieved me of the guilt . Yes, my mom had visited one day and she saw the atmosphere in the home, she cornered me till I told her my issues…she smiled and told me a secret, “Men never know what they have until its gone” If you just sit around, you will lose him for good, fight for your marriage before it’s too late. When she shared her plan, I kept laughing, she had done the same thing to my dad when politics almost consumed him. She was a strong woman and advised me to be one too.

We laughed about so many things before he asked to talk to Jolly… I walked to answer the door, it was time for our dinner and Whoooaaaa…Paul standing at the door with a covered tray, I step back in panic as he entered. He went on his knee and opened a tray…a note read “Am so sorry, please forgive me” All memories of the two of us splashed back, I cried. He stood up and hugged me as I sobbed, I kissed him passionately as Jolly shouted, “Dad” I rushed to switch off the phone because I never wanted him to know my mom was involved. We spent another week just enjoying ourselves and when we returned, home has forever been the best place to live in. That trip birthed another child Joel*.

You are wondering what was on the DVD; well, I had shot a few clips of me and Jolly, her sad moments…her messages of “dad I miss you, you used to do blah blah blah (skip the details) but these days you don’t. I love school because then I don’t have to look at dad sad and a lot… I added the vow session on our wedding and other few moments” I tipped him on where we could be, a place where we went for our honey moon and it so appeared to be the same hotel and room where Jolly was conceived. “Don’t make me regret the day and time when you said you want us to have a baby” It took him 2 days and sleepless nights to figure out where we could be, he visited all my friends and relatives and all places where he expected me to be. After watching the video for like the 50^th time; he tried his last luck which was expensive but worth it. All I did was to wake up his sleeping feelings and it’s been 2 years now and still moving strong with #Mycinderellastory. Martha

 

THE RING THAT WASN’T MEANT FOR ME…

Cross-checking his Jacket before handing it over for laundry, my fingers slant on a little box, I frown in wonder why he always leaves stuff in his jacket. Anyway, the more reason to have me around for a girlfriend. I deep my hand into the pocket and pulled out a tiny little chocolate brown box, my heart skipped a bit…Oh no, it’s not an engagement ring? Or maybe it is. My legs weakened, eyes teary and my mind frozen, it travelled a little and after a few minutes I realized I had kinda blacked out, the house helper was calling me…I looked at her but in awe and buried in thoughts. I gathered myself and went on with the daily chores, oh not really daily because I could only hangout at his place on weekends.

The day went by and I couldn’t stop thinking about the little box, was it a ring, Oh my God was he gonna propose? Wait, am I even ready to become a wife and more so his wife? This was all so much for me…I rushed to the helper to get the jacket back, I wanted to play along and not spoil his surprise. Oh no she had already dipped it in water; I rushed to ensure it dries before he at least returns from his friend’s introduction ceremony. As I was busy drying it using gas, my phone rang. My heart jumped and I dropped the jacket on the gas cooker, Oh no…it was late, it was already burnt. Gosh how am I gonna go about this. Oh wait…the phone was still ringing, and its him; James* I pick up the phone and try so hard not to alarm him of any dangers or tension, he was very excited I guess because of the ceremony and he never paid attention. We chatted for a few minutes and said goodbyes.

After failing to clear the jacket mess, I panicked and just left the house in hurry, I put the box in a different jacket and praying he doesn’t really remember the exact jacket he had left it in. I switched off my phone that entire evening and took a few sleeping pills after failing to get sleep. I woke up at around 10 in the morning and I was all smiles, I had gotten over my fears and I was now ready to face the proposal. I did not find any message or missed call which was kinda rare…had he returned safely, was he ok? Had he found out I knew about the ring and he was pissed with me? All this troubled me, after church I call him and his phone was off, Gosh this is was getting weirder. I chose to drive to his place and find out what was going on.

The gate man smiled as he opened the gate and rushed to my car, “hello madam, Sir is not around, he went out at around midday.” Oh that was relieving, at least he was fine. I sat in my car listening to music and checking out my emails and WhatsApp. After an hour, I realized this guy must be away with friends and not coming back anytime soon. I drove away to go get myself lunch. My evening was a boring one so I decided to go somewhere swimming…it was our favorite spot for evening plots, Somehow I wished I could bump into him and maybe we could get past that. While still swimming…I hear applauds and my attention was driven to the direction, It was a girl screaming, “Yes Yes I do…I will get married to you” I smiled and for a minute thought about my own engagement. How will he propose hahah?. My emotions were now set to say YES I was only waiting for the question.

As the waitress brought my coffee I spotted one of James’s friends Patrick, Hey I wave…he smiled and rushed inside. Huh strange…the normal Patrick would rush and at least said hello to me, say a few jokes and maybe move on. Anyway, I wasn’t in his plans so I excused him. But my instincts kept warning me about something. I followed Patrick with my eyes and alas…he shook hands with James and whispered to him…Uhuhm, I was right, he was here, I waited for him to come over but he did not. I called the waitress, cleared my check and tried to walk to the boys, I couldn’t spot him so I headed to the bathroom; Standing in a mirror was the other girl who was screaming, she was chatting with someone…wait, I know this person; It was Sylvia* James’s sister, the moment she saw me she headed inside and I just said hello and congz to the young lady. By the time I came from the bathroom, the two had left so I also minded my own business.

James’s phone wasn’t on yet so I ignored him for some time, it bothered me but with whatever had happened that evening, it couldn’t get any weirder. I quietly drove home, deep in thoughts I drove through the traffic. Sweating uncontrollably even with the air conditioner turned on. It was a moody evening for me. I switched on my internet data and stood for seconds waiting for the WhatsApp ring tone to stop, Gosh these must be hundreds of messages. I eventually opened hoping to at least find one from James, Patrick or Sylvia. There was none but there is this group, old school kind and believe me I rarely read all that gossip and jokes but this day it seemed like the only thing to take my mind off the situation. I scrolled through, smiled and sometimes laughed out loud on a few things. A very intriguing picture downloaded on my phone, a man on his knee before a pretty girl…I had seen this girl in the bathroom and at the hotel, as more photos kept downloading my heart stopped for a minute, the clear photo of the gentleman nearly stopped my breathing, it was James. I dropped my phone in shock, tears rolled down my face and my joints froze.

I lost balance and fell down, I woke up after 2 days in a hospital, trying so hard to open my eyes but all I could see were blurred pictures, I could barely recognize anyone but a light that lit in my iris, I went back to sleep again. Waking up later that evening, I tried opening my eyes and images were still blurred…I wished all that I had seen was just a nightmare and that I was waking up from it, I eventually opened my eyes and saw James standing with a doctor. I really wanted him to look me in the eyes and tell me everything was alright, I wished, I hoped and desperately believed it could be so. My best friend enters the room and harshly pushes James out of the room. She rushes back to me and hugs me tightly, she whispers, “he is not worth this, you can’t lay down your life for him, you are a pretty and young girl with a bright future. Please don’t give him the satisfaction of breaking you” Hearing all this, I knew it wasn’t a dream anymore, it was real. The ring I had thought belonged to me was given to someone else.

That evening a few friends from work came and I was discharged, they camped at my apartment for a few hours till I fell asleep, my best friend and a few others stayed awake watching a movie. It felt great having people around but for some time, I felt weak, all these guys knew what had happened to me…I felt ashamed (Later on my friend told me I just had an accident). Very early at around 6 I woke up, drove to James’s office and sat in the waiting room, his secretary got me coffee but I was in no mood for any of their friendly gestures.  I was not here to make friends anymore, deep down I blamed all of them for lying to me. At around 8:15 am James walks into the building, shocked at my presence, he bravely entered his office and invited me in.

“How are you doing?” he asked

“A mess…” I replied as I walked past his desk to pick a photo frame of him and his fiancée, “she is cute…tiny too…same taste…How long?

“It’s not what you are thinking?”

“Ok…surprise me…how long were the two of you dating?

“Ah…it’s complicated” He sadly walked to me

“I can hear you no matter where you are standing, now answer my question?

“Can we talk later babe…I have a few meetings to attend and I need to prepare. I promise to explain all when we meet again.”

It was then that I realized I have never been his priority, he always preferred other things to me; work, family, friends…it was all clear. Why hadn’t I analyzed the situation earlier?

I went back home, freshened up, washed my hair and put on my best, I got into my car and drove to my office…my supervisor was surprised to see me since he had given me a few days off. Its’ then that I realized life moves on, the world doesn’t come to an end because your heart has been broken; you have lost someone or the sort. I hang out more often with friends, visited the company counsellor and slowly I moved on with my life. My Cinderella story did not end as I had thought so but I mean it wasn’t meant to be, I never heard from James for months, my friends kept telling me he was looking for me but I mean…”I also have meetings to attend to” It was late but finally my eyes opened. I am in a struggle of moving on but it’s just a matter of time. It hurt that at some point I thought I couldn’t move on, I thought I would lose my pride but this actually just equipped me. I will write back when my Cinderella story finally changes…Until then Lisa

It took me seven years to make my move

 

LET NO MAN PUT ASUNDER. Hannington Mayanja, a teacher at Seeta High School and Youth Pastor at Praise Cathedral in Ntinda, knew Jackline Birungi for quite some time but it took him seven years to finally conquer his fears and present his interest. The two sealed their love for each other on May 16 at All Saints Cathedral. They shared their love story with Christine Nakalungi.

When and how did you meet?
Hannington: We met in 2006 at church, Praise Cathedral Ntinda. Jackline was in Alpha Praise Choir. She had an irresistible smile and lovely eyes. But as a pastor I had to be sure I was ready before approaching her. This took some time but God had kept her for me and in the right time, I took a manly move.

So, when did the two of you eventually become close?
Hannington: I started my move in 2013, It took her sometime to believe that I was serious but eventually she gave in to my perseverance.

Did you propose to her?
Hannington: I do not know whether it’s called proposal because I never gave her flowers or got on one knee but I told her I was going to marry her. But to be sure I popped the question anyway.

When was it and how did you react?
Jackline: One evening, he took me out for dinner. Much as he was from work, he seemed so fresh; his eyes shone with anticipation as he initiated a conversation about marriage. The serious tone in his voice made me nervous, I tried to disguise my tension by sipping on coffee and kept wondering where this conversation was headed.
Before I noticed, he asked me whether I was willing to be his wife. I skipped a breath or two. Much as I was expecting this, the question made it seem so real and my answer could determine the future of our relationship. It took me some time to answer but I nodded looking straight in his eyes.
He smiled and continued with his conversation. I found myself drowning in the mixed feelings; happy, anxious, confused and a desire to scream out loud and tell everyone about it. I won’t even lie to you that I heard the rest of the conversation that evening. I had crossed from girl friend to fiancée. It was exciting.

What attracted you to each other?
Hannington: She is beautiful much as beauty fades, it is what attracted me more. Her personality and attitude fascinated me. Jackie is loving, patient and such a great leader. I could see her managing the children and of course me. .
Jackline: He is happy and has a strong spiritual character. Hanny has a great sense of humour and keeps his word.

When did you come up with the wedding date?
Hannington: After the introduction ceremony, I sat with my fiancée and we chose the most suitable period for both of us. We considered factors such as weather (we avoided a rainy season since she wanted gardens for a reception), and school programme since I’m a teacher, holiday period would give me time to prepare.

What was your budget and how did you raise the funds?
Hannington: Shs30m.We used our savings and contributions from friends and relatives.

Did you involve a planner?
Hannington: No, I have a brain to do it on my own.
Jackline: No, I have planned so many weddings for my friends and was sure of what I needed. We planned this wedding with my husband and close friends.

How did you come up with the guest list?
Hannington: We considered everybody we thought was of value to us including; church members, workmates, OGs, OBs and family.
Jackline: Our target was 450 guests.

What were you doing on the eve of your wedding?
Hannington: I was supervising service providers at the venue, making sure especially the decorators were set and all tents placed as planned.
Jackline: I was at the salon getting my hair styled (washing and weaving it) and nails polished. I also wanted to be sure all my bridesmaids were worked on both hair (braiding) and nails.

What was your theme colour?
Jackline: It was blue and white. Blue is my best colour and it looks very nice on my husband’s complexion, it is a neutral colour that flatters almost all skin tones of our selected entourage. White on the other hand is a bridal colour; my gown was obviously white so the entourage having a little white synchronised the general entourage look.

The bride and her maids perform a Nigerian dance…My number One to the groom

Were you disappointed in any way during the function?
Hannington: Yes, when she cried because the DJ had played a wrong song for her performance.
Jackline: Yes, I had prepared a dance performance for my husband but the DJ had a different version of the song from what I had told him. He later got the right version but I had already got emotional.

What did you enjoy most on that day?
Hannington: I enjoyed carrying her; she was finally mine and enjoyed seeing people turning up very excited and happy for us.
Jackline: The vows. At least once every month, I attend a wedding and the vows seem the same, this time, coming from my mouth, every word sounded so real. It hit me then that I had crossed over to a new and different life, a life of commitment…till death does us apart.

What was going through your mind during the ceremony?
Hannington: I reflected on how hard it had been to get to the point we had gotten to.
Jackline: A mélange of thoughts: nothing specific, but all rotated around service providers, hoping everything is going as planned.

Did you go for premarital counselling and what did you learn from it?
Hannington: We learnt how to always remembering that learning never ends.
1. How to deal with children; every child is different so take time to learn each one of them and to never let the children take up your spouse’s position.
2. How to deal with stress; sharing with your spouse your moments of frustration, pain. And as a spouse, to always give her time to heal, get over it.

3. Financial management. Financial transparency is paramount in marriage, always sit down and budget together, live within your means and never stretch your partner financially since you know how much they earn.
Jackline: Yes, we did, for a month it was exciting, I learnt that marriage is a journey and it has no expert. Much as many say marriage is hard, everyone has their own load, the way you deal with it determines the ending. If my neighbour’s marriage failed, it’s not a sign that mine too is headed for that and the reverse is true. I don’t have to run my marriage like my neighbour does.

What is your advice to those planning to wed?
Hannington: They should plan, have personal savings. Involve close friends, pray for their wedding plans, and seek advice from their spiritual leaders and parents.

Jackline: They should have a target, plan ahead, save money in time and involve their trustworthy friends in the preparations.

Did you have any debts after the wedding?
Jackline: We never had any debts but instead the only person we deliberately did not pay all the money was the photo and video men because paying them would make them lazy to deliver the albums and DVDs.

THE DETAILS
Cake

NHK Company baked a 10-cake tier iced . It was decorated in their theme colours blue and white cost them Shs3m. It comprised banana, fruit and coconut flavours.

The ride

We drove ourselves in a Mercedes Benz E-Convertible, and the other team cruised in Benz E-class and S-class. The sleekness and classiness of the Benzes added comfort and elegance.

Gown

The charming fairy weetheart ball gown was bought from Visma Bridal Shop. Not only did it flatter Jackline’s body but was also comfortable, elegant and suitable for church atmosphere.